The Mirror of my Past

The Mirror that Shows the Past - part 1

"Why does this always happen to me?"
"Was it something i said, saw or decree?"
These words only too familiar to me,
The life of a shattered, destroyed endlessly.

But cry as I may, nothing changed nothing did.
Everyday would pass like a non-growing seed.
Hoping and yearning for something to change,
Crying and praying to be back in the game.

But no one answered my screams in the night,
In fact no one dared or cared given might.
Willfully degraded, insulted and used,
I pondered this journey, still scared and confused.

This little insignificant speck of energy i call my life has turned out really quite unexpectedly well. But it is not without humps and bumps, turns and corners, straights and dead-ends, all but mellow intricacies of what we so bluntly define as life. I wouldn't say i know alot, but i know far more than people my age. But i wasn't always so. Life is a journey and mine was a hot-air balloon with a jet engine. Circumstances allowed me to grow up pretty quick, my dad's health conditions played a great role in this. But the crazy bit started only during the last 6 to 7 years. Ever blew a balloon and released it in a room, letting it run loose. That was me, loose..., untamed, Jack Russelly and stupid.

Everything practically stalled and plunged abyss-wards. Friends became acquaintances, acquaintances became passer-bys, and passer-bys became farts in an elevator (you know they're there, but you can't see them and don't know where they're from). Evidently, as you can see, it was a mess, like how some misguided skin colours enjoy their whipped potato all stirred up with chille sauce, tomato sauce and a squirt of tartar-a big disgusting mess.

Things only changed when i went away, persuing my undergraduate in a country far away. Here you see many like me, and the irony of looking at yourself seems to question reality. I was afriad of myself, i shunned and looked at everything from a distance away. That which lay before me revealed itself.

The Mirror that Shows the Past - part 2

Do my eyes decieve me, is it that which i see,
Fear admist pride?
Yet confused is he.

The guy by the side, he's lying to her,
Why does she smile?
What a blind little girl.

A group having coffee, talking loud about dreams.
Of cars and boats.
Spoilers and rims?

The world around me, did it suddenly stop,
Did some great wizard
Just turned back the clock.

Or have i gone crazy, mentally insane,
I count my 10 fingers,
And my toes have a name.

I need to lie down, something weird is astir,
My toes speak to me,
My vision gone blur.

I wake in the morning, the dream fades at last,
"Its just like a mirror,
A mirror of my past."

Epilogue

Its not my quest to take what is mine,
Nor is it my destiny to understand why

-me